How to Overcome Anxiety

Understanding What Anxiety May Be Trying to Tell You

Anxiety is often described as something we need to overcome, control or get rid of.

But what if anxiety is actually trying to tell us something?

Anxiety is part of our protective response. It can show up as racing thoughts, tension, restlessness, irritability, an unsettled stomach or the feeling that something just isn't right.

Sometimes there is an obvious reason. Sometimes there isn't.

And occasionally, the situation triggering the anxiety isn't actually where the story began.

When the response doesn't seem to make sense

One of my clients experienced intense anxiety when asked to sing at a family event.

On the surface, it didn't make sense.

They were a confident singer and genuinely enjoyed performing. Yet suddenly they experienced an upset stomach and struggled to remember their lines — something that had never previously been a problem.

Rather than simply trying to manage the anxiety, we became curious about it.

What was this response really connected to?

By stepping back and becoming the observer, we explored experiences from earlier in their life. These experiences had been painful at the time, but had never been fully processed or resolved.

The event itself was long over.

But the response had remained.

I describe this as an incomplete cycle — where an experience has ended, but something within us continues to respond as though it hasn't.

Sometimes a present situation simply touches something familiar from the past, even when the two situations appear completely unrelated.

Anxiety can be the alarm — not the problem

Think of a fire alarm.

If there was once a fire, the alarm had a purpose. But if the fire has been extinguished and the alarm continues sounding, we wouldn't simply spend our time trying to silence it.

We would ask:

Why is it still ringing?

This is how I sometimes view anxiety.

It may be the alarm rather than the problem itself.

That doesn't mean every experience of anxiety has a hidden cause, or that emotional exploration is always the answer. Physical symptoms can have many causes and deserve appropriate medical attention.

But when a response feels bigger than the situation seems to warrant, it can be worth becoming curious.

What is happening within me?

What might this response be trying to tell me?

In my client's case, as the underlying experience was resolved, the anxiety shifted. So did the physical and mental symptoms they had been experiencing. They no longer needed to work so hard to manage the response because the response itself had changed.

Becoming the observer

When we're inside anxiety, it can feel as though we are the anxiety.

But when we can step back and observe what is happening, we create space.

Space to notice.

Space to question.

Space to recognise that a response that may once have protected us isn't necessarily required in the same way today.

Understanding why the alarm is still ringing, places it into perspective and allows greater freedom.

If you recognise yourself in this, you may find it useful to explore what your anxiety is communicating rather than simply trying to silence it.

Seeing creates choice.

Choice creates freedom.